I Want My MTV 2 HOURS BACK!

The Mtv awards last night was a complete disaster,u kno shit is bad when a Chris Brown performance is one of the most memoriable moments of the night....As the credits scrolled across the screen and the Mtv news correspondents pretended that the show was a success (Sway u kno that was some bullshit, dont front) I thought to myself...when did the mtv awards become one of THE WORST award shows on television? (and yes, this years awards was by far the worst award show ive seen in the past 5 years, or more) Then it hit me...the mtv awards are no longer about the awards..but are more focused on the performances, hince them giving out about 3 awards last night (2 categories not even makin sense, what next? best eyeshadow in a music video??) and not having a host in the past 4 years (sorry Jack Black, but if u hosted last year, so did I)...BUT! where MTV fell short this year was the lack of successful performances!...if the show isnt gonna be about the awards and watching people look like a fucking moron on stage collecting their awards, than make sure the performances are MAGICAL...and the only thing magical last night was the magically delicious moment between Kanye West and 50cent...
I can taste the rainbow...cant you?

Britney opened up the show looking like a coked up bag of russed potatos...some one get that hoe a lacefront, STAT!...In one of of my older post i was assaulted by a few Britney stans that felt that my words about Britney going up against Alicia was a harsh, racially motivated thing...no not really, considering i own both britney and alicia albums...BUT iam a man that uses common sense, britney simply isnt ready for a comeback, and judging from last night..could give a shit about having one...i would say "I told u so" but thats not me, im just gonna tell u guys to get a nice tall glass of HUSH IT with a nice yummy STFU sandwich...IS YA IS YA IS YA HUNGRAY!??!?..btw perezhilton.com is that way>>>>>>>>>>> ...thanks in advance, because i shant be bothered!

The rest of the night was a big blur, or i just didnt give too much of a shit about it to remember it..but what i do remember were the lackluster performances(can u even consider them performances since we only seen about 30 seconds of them?) before and after the commercials from such monumental power acts like Akon, Soulja Boy, and some rock groups that will most like be forgotten by next month....

Chris brown's Remedial Roy's performance was a special one, he showed that aslong as u can shuck and jive u can completely have no vocal talent, or even lip sync correctly...yes the boy danced his ass off, but i think at one point he just moved his mouth up and down rather than attempt to say the words he clearly wasnt singing...i think i seen alil drool come out too....UHHH DUHH DUHHHH!!

As the show went on, white folks decided to act their color! ( sorry, i just had to go for it) and Kidrock and Tommy Lee got into a scuffle, my guess is that they blamed the other for the STD im sure they both caught from Pamela Anderson... this all happened during Alicia Keys performance...damn the way they were actin u could swear up and down Alicia was performin We Some Headbustas or some shit

While were on the topic of Ms Alicia, I must say that the single "No One" has grown on me, like i knew it would...last night her performance was a favorite of mine, not because shes BLACK or because shes an R&B singer..but because it was GOOD, i thoroughly enjoyed when she went into George Michaels "Freedom"...she was SINGING and the performance was entertaining without her running all over the stage with her poon showin and her tongue hangin out her mouth... i can forgive her performance outfit...it was very Glitter whore meets Amazon of the evening...i have no idea who was behind it, im just gonna blame Tina Knowles....that bitch made people think its cool to look like they were raped by a bedazzler

As for the rest of the night...Rihanna reminded everyone that she is best viewed when the tv is on MUTE Jennifer Hudson in her Sundays Laundry Day best was rocking something that looked like it was picked out by Andre Leon Tally, because clearly he secretly hates her ass...
Beyonce showed up and figured she'd dress up as an Oscar award... because she'll actually turn into one before she ever recieves oneLil mama.... someone please assassinate this hoe...pull out ur sniper kit and DO THE RIGHT THING!Mary J. Showed up looking fabulous...i just like that Wig..its very "shank a bitch" chicAnd all i gotta say about this is pic of Dr Dre is...Thank God for Jesus and steroids

Wanna know who won what? go galivant over to Mtv.com...cuzz a wise woman once said...I Cant Got The Time... shoooooooo